Who is Poor and Who is Rich?

This past Sunday, as I watched our praise and worship leader lead our children in songs of praise, I realized that something was wrong. Something is missing in our churches in America. We spend thousands and millions and billions of dollars trying to make "fun" and entertaining for our children in this country.



Yet, many times it is empty worship. The smiles are there, the hands are raised, but if you look closely, you see kids looking around wondering what's going on. You see a few that are genuinely worshiping, but many are missing the mark.



Could it be that we have it all wrong? Could it be that the people we believe to be poor, are actually the richest of them all? Could it be that in our quest for the American dream, we have become poor in spirit? Why are we seeing some of the most underdeveloped countries filled with the Holy Spirit and loving God with all their hearts and minds?



Could it be that we, as parents have lost all sense of what God wanted from us? Why do we look to make ourselves comfortable and forget that the Bible says, we WILL be persecuted and we are to rejoice in our suffering?
These people are literally rejoicing in their suffering, while we have no joy in our comfort? We must seek to know the God of creation and learn to love him without condition. We cannot expect our children to love God if we don't even know how to love Him ourselves. It's time for a real reckoning Church of America.

" These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands. I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.

Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.

Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God." - Revelation 2:1-7

Man O God

More Basics: Changing Diapers

It's been a while since I had to change diapers, but since I had so many to do, it's like riding a bicycle. First, we will explain how to determine if a change of diaper is necessary. If you squeeze the bottom of the diaper and you notice that it feels firm or heavy, then the diaper is probably wet and needs changing. Also, gently pull back the rear of the diaper and look inside. If you see brown, yellow, or green, then the baby has had a bowel movement and is also in need of a diaper change. WARNING: The first time a baby poops, it may be a black sticky substance. This is normal and is called meconium. So don't freak out and call the doctor. You should, however call a doctor immediately if you notice blood in the stool or urine.

Now that you know baby needs a diaper change, get all your materials ready:
1) A fresh diaper, at least 3-5 baby wipes or moist towelettes, baby powder (optional), and any ointments you may need for circumcision, urinary tract infections or other maladies that are prescribed by a doctor.
2) Be sure to remove socks, shoes, mittens, or anything else than baby can (and probably will) push into the soiled diaper before opening the diaper. Also, lift long gowns well out of the way so they don't get dirty either.
3) Carefully place baby on a changing table, or other flat area. Never leave the baby on the table unattended even for a few seconds (babies MOVE) because before you know it baby can flip over and fall off. In emergency situations, with a little practice, you can change the baby on your lap by closing your legs tightly and placing baby with his or her head away from you.
4) Open the diaper and begin wiping away all the mess from baby's bottom and legs. With girls, always wipe from front to back, otherwise you could risk getting feces inside her genitals and causing a serious infection. With boys, just wipe away! You can use the dirty diaper as a trash bin for all the wipes you use.
5) Pull baby's bottom up slightly by the ankles and pull the diaper out from under the baby and close it up tightly so nothing escapes accidentally.
6) Carefully pull baby's bottom up slightly again to slide the new diaper under the baby up to about the lower center of his or her back.
7) Lower baby onto the diaper and apply any powders or ointments needed.
8) Close the diaper and replace all the clothing you removed.

Warning about boys: Always be ready for a yellow fountain! When that stream starts, it can get on EVERYTHING! Coffee, mouth, eyes, clothes, and even baby's own face and body. While there's nothing harmful, it can be embarrassing and create a mess.

About powders and petroleum jelly: Some physicians, moms, dads, grandmas, and aunts will argue about the use of baby powder and petroleum jelly on baby. We started off using these, but eventually stopped using powder, because it seemed not to help much on diaper rash. I would use petroleum jelly at night when putting baby to bed if there was diaper rash because I noticed that it seemed to moisturize the skin when left overnight. I wouldn't use it during the day, but would use powder instead to keep things dry and smooth. In any case, only you know your baby and may want to experiment with what works best, powder, vasaline, or diaper rash ointment.



Have fun!

Man O God

No Direction No Purpose

Today, as I sat here watching coverage of the Occupy Wall Street movement, I realized that too many people in the world today are angry about things they have no control over. The article was talking about how these protesters are eating food from the same companies they are protesting against. They claim to be against big business, but they eat at McDonald's and take free ice cream from Ben & Jerry's. I realized that most of those who cry "foul" because the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer are the same people who make Budweiser, Walmart, and Michael Moore richer every week by buying into their products.



While their intentions are noble, they really have no idea where they are headed because there is no clear understanding of what it is they are saying.
The Bible makes it clear that the message of the cross is foolishness to them that perish. What may seem foolish to you one day, will all become clear as soon as you realize your purpose in God's kingdom.
You, as a father have great responsibility and purpose in your life. Your main purpose is first to accept Christ into your life and mold it around his teachings. You can then begin to pour into the lives of not only your wife, but also into the lives and hearts of your children. This direction in your live will bring specific meaning, purpose, and drive.
I know that before I gave my life to Christ, I had no desire to excel no desire to be anything more than a high school drop out and no desire to become anything more than a dishwasher or grill cook. Christ gave me both direction and purpose as well as the drive to accomplish more than I could ever imagine.
My goal, now, is to make that drive contagious within myself and my children and to teach others how to be contagious with Jesus' love.


Man O God

Lessons From Satan

How is it possible we can learn anything from the father of lies? Who, after all would want to mold themselves around this utterly evil being who despises God? Well, I'm not suggesting we follow in his footsteps, but there are some things we can learn even from this miserable, lost creature in spite of everthing: Fear and Obedience

Many of us have heard that 1 John 4:4 says, "...greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world." Yet many of us still cringe at the thought of demons and the devil. How many people cannot even watch the Exorcist because it scares the bejeezus out of them? We don't like to talk about demons because we are afraid they may somehow manifest themselves in our lives or the lives or our children in our dreams and in our waking lives. Yet the Bible clearly tells us that God is above all things.

When we thing of the opposite of God, many say "Satan" This is not so. Satan is not even in the same league. Satan is more in line with Michael the Archangel.

Remember when Jesus cast out demons in the New Testament?



His power was obeyed without question. When Satan approached God to ask permission to test Job, he was granted permission with one exception: "...but save his life" Satan was not allowed to touch Job's life. Now one would think, if Satan has no regard for God and doesn't fall under His authority, wouldn't he just say, "Oops, I killed him...sorry" What could God do to Satan that he isn't already doomed for?

The answer may leave you shocked. If Satan is supposedly the most terrifying being in the universe. If Satan makes Charles Manson look like a nun and Friday the 13th's Jason look like a teddy bear, then what could possibly scare Satan?

God's wrath is infinitely more awful and terrible than anything you, me, or even Satan can imagine. Satan and his minions obey God out of sheer terror and fear.

"You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that - and shudder." James 2:19

If Satan and his demons fear God so much that they obey him without question, don't you think it's wise for us to do better? We should fear God, yes. But we should obey God because we love Him and because He loves us unconditionally.

Don't be outdone by Satan. If even he knows how to fear God, so should you. If even he knows how to obey God, so should you.

And by the way, Satan is not omnipresent. This means he cannot be in more than one place at once. He is more concerned with the top leaders in this world than someone like you and me. He will, however send his minions to temp you and try to trip you up each and every day. Ask for guidance and protection from these demons from the Holy Spirit and God's angels every morning on you, your family, and those around you.

Man O God

Be Careful What You Ask For...

Last night I spoke in our Bible study group. We had planned to watch a video from John Bevere, but we had already seen it. I wasn't prepared to teach anything, so I just let the Holy Spirit lead me. I happened to open my Bible to the book of Jonah and we proceeded to read the whole book since it was only 4 chapters.
I found it refreshing that each chapter taught a different lesson. The most intriguing lesson was in chapter 3.
It seems that Jonah was warning people that God would destroy their city in 40 days because of their disregard for God and his commandments. To Jonah's surprise and dismay they changed their course, humbled themselves, fasted, and turned from their evil. Everyone from their king down to the lowliest person became aware that God was watching and was not pleased with them.
God had compassion and renounced his judgement. Apparently the only one not happy was Jonah!
Sometimes, we pray and ask for things and when God brings it about we aren't very happy with the outcome. It's almost like we ask only because we like the idea of having something. If I'm confusing you, I'll give you an example.
I'm mature enough to understand that I love beautiful cars...only when someone ELSE owns them. I love to admire Corvettes, Porsche's, BMW's, and all kinds of high performance vehicles. I know, however, that I don't want to own one because of the high cost of maintaining such a luxurious vehicle. I don't even like washing my little old red truck!
I know a woman who prayed, and cried, and prayed, and cried that the Lord would bless her with a Godly husband. When God answered her prayer, she suddenly changed her mind and was frightened at the thought of marriage even though this man loved her with all his heart and had very good values.
Sometimes we pray, Lord bless my family, let my children have good grades, let them excel at sports, or let them have good friends. Then when God answers us, we don't want to show up to their sports events, science fairs, open house at school, and we don't want their friends coming over to our house. God answers your prayer and then suddenly you realize you don't really want that after all?
We need to be careful what we pray for. God, in his infinite wisdom, sometimes says "No", sometimes says, "wait", and then there are times when he says, "YES!" For those occasions, be ready to receive His blessing with open arms. Show Him your gratitude for the wonders of his love toward your life and watch him continue to bless you with other desires of your heart if you are obedient and a good steward with all He has given you thus far.
Learn to show interest in the things your children excel at and be patient when they are slow to learn. Above all, love them through their failures and cherish their triumphant victories.



"But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you" - Matthew 6:33


Man O God

Bless and Curse Not...

A few years back, I spent some time in a foreign country where I was in constant danger. I recall seeing the terrible conditions in that country where teachers were rejoicing because their monthly earnings jumped to $30 a month from $3 a month! I saw children as young as 8 years old working for a living driving tractors, filling sandbags, digging trenches, and cleaning up human waste. I remember feeling overwhelmed with compassion for them, but at the same time realizing that we who live in the developed world take many things for granted.
I spoke with my wife about allowing the children to have whatever they desired. For some odd reason, I felt that I should be showering my children with gifts. I think it was an attempt to make up for time lost without them. In any case, when I finally came home, my children lacked nothing.
To this day, however, my children tend to overlook the bountiful home they live in and I have to continue to remind them that we live in a world where everything can be gained and lost very quickly.
With this in mind, I would like to remind fathers that they should always seek to bless their children and their families in every way possible. Granted that you don't spoil your children by lavishing gifts that are dangerous or wastefully extravagant, you should, nevertheless see to it that they receive gifts whenever they accomplish goals that you set for them or whenever you see that they exhibit excellent behavior above what is expected.
Additionally, be careful not to curse your children even when they behave badly. It is too common for parents and guardians to say things like, "You'll never amount to anything!" or "You're going to end up in prison!". Although you may think you are correcting your child, you are setting things in motion that may forever alter your child's future.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. - Ephesian 6:12

This means that there are things unseen in the world around us that influence the decisions we make and have the ability to twist circumstances in ways that are both beneficial and malignant toward us. When we speak blessings over our children, we grant angelic forces permission to manipulate our surroundings to fill their lives with wonderful things including health, joy, friends, wealth, and wisdom. When, on the other hand, we speak curses into the lives of our children, we will allow demonic beings to fill their minds, bodies, and spirit with malicious thoughts, ideas, disease, loneliness, and confusion among other terrible maladies.

We ought, therefore, to be careful to bless our children as our heavenly father blesses us. We ought to bless and curse not. Remember the law of sowing and reaping. Those things that we sow into our children's lives will inevitably come back as fruits in our own lives (for good or evil).

Before you begin to think that this is some kind of recipe for total well being or utter destruction, let me make something clear. Speaking blessings does not guarantee that our children will be without trouble and neither does speaking curses automatically induce failure, but the likelihood of these things increases dramatically with each blessing and each curse.



If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good things to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! - Matthew 7:11


Man O God

God Inhabits Praise

Psalm 22:3 says, that God inhabits the praises of his people. I've come to think about that quite a few times over my years. Sometimes it seems like whenever we are in a bad situation, it always seems to just get worse and worse. Sometimes we pray for God to deliver us from our problems, and the more we pray it seems God turns a deaf ear. When these times come around, it's important to remember this verse (Psalm 22:3). It is during those times of trial that our souls are downtrodden, and seem frail. It is those times when we can't find the strength to open our Bibles or open our mouths to utter one more solemn prayer. It is those times when we feel that the weight of the world is coming down on our shoulders. These are the worst times in our lives when we lose our job, our homes, our loved ones, or seemingly our sanity.
These are the times it becomes critical to praise God more than ever. Have you ever wondered why the Bible is so big? Couldn't God have just said it all in a few words? Couldn't he have just said that He is love and the He sent His son, Jesus? I think more of us would read our Bibles more often if it came in a pamphlet form. I think, however, that God wanted us to have constant reminders of His greatness as well. Every book in the Bible speaks of the wonders of His works. The greatness and majesty of His name. So it makes sense that when we stop in our tracks and begin to give Him praise, He will come and dwell with us at that moment. When all hope seems lost, just begin to praise Him for all he has done, not just in your life, but in the lives of all His people.



Man O God

Submit to Authority

One of the hardest things for a man to do is to admit defeat, wrongdoing, or simply that he may be wrong. It seems to be hard wired into our being. In the hispanic culture there is even a word for this phenomena - "machismo". It means to make others submit to your authority because you are a man. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but our Father in heaven has given us orders as Christians to submit ourselves to the authorities. In Romans chapter 13:1-7 we are told that the authorities are put there by God's own hand to deliver God's punishment for wrongdoing.
So the first question that comes to mind is, "Do you mean to tell me that Hitler was put there by God?" Perhaps. I'm not one to question God's authority on the matter only to speak what his Word says on the subject. Perhaps God had a purpose for the evil little man with a big mouth. Even so, God made a way for him to exit the scene as well.
We are to submit ourselves to authorities of law enforcement, government and at our jobs. We must also teach our children to do the same. Granted there are cases when this authority is perverted or misused in the name of some crazy ideology or simple greed on behalf of one or several people. If that authority contradicts God's word we have an obligation to fight against it as well. Remember that no man can serve two masters either he will love one and hate the other or hate the one and love the other.
When that authority conflicts with our own agenda, however, it is easy to say they are in the wrong and we begin to fight against it, but that is not the case most of the time.
Examine families that have no authority figure present. Either dad or mom is not present or one or both will not take their rightful place of authority within the family and the family structure collapses. We are not to allow our children to run the house in any form or fashion. They may have an opinion and we should allow them to positively speak their minds, but ultimately you as the father of your home have full authority and responsibility to execute both rewards and punishment within reason. Do not misuse that authority over our children to beat them down beyond recovery either physically, mentally, or emotionally (Ephesians 6:4 Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord)
If, however, you do not believe in submitting yourself to the authorities put in place by God, then how can you in full faith believe you have every right to rule over your own household? You will be a direct contradiction to yourself.
In all things seek the wisdom and direction of the Holy Spirit to guide your words, your thoughts, and your action. Give praise to God for all He does in your life and your family.



Man O God

Drop the Baggage

Three men were driving through the desert when their car broke down.  After a short time of trying to repair the vehicle, they realized that it was useless to try so they spoke to each and said, "We should gather whatever we can carry that will help us get to civilization."  One man grabbed up two jugs of water, another man took a large blanket, and one man carefully removed one of the car doors.  After walking for a few miles, two of the men looked over at the man with the water and said, "What's that?" The man said, "We're in the desert, we're going to need to drink lots of water to stay alive." They all nodded and continued walking.  After a few more hours, two men looked at the one carrying the blanket, and asked, "What's that for?" The man with the blanket said, "At night the desert temperatures can drop significantly so we'll need to stay covered or face hypothermia." "Oh", they said, and continued walking.  After another hour, two men looked at the man carrying the car door and said, "What gives with the car door man?"  The last man looked at the other two, and said, "Duh...if it gets hot, I'm going to roll down the window!"

Sounds funny when you look at it like that, but in reality we are each carrying a piece of luggage, sometimes dozens, hundreds, or thousands of pieces of useless luggage.  The luggage is unforgiveness.  We carry our grudges, our anger, our "reasons" for not speaking to this person or that. We hold on fiercely to our excuses why this person deserves our revenge or our cold shoulder.  We even find ways to avoid those people by declining invitations to social gatherings.  As if they will really noticed we are missing.  Unforgiveness is one of the worst things you can do in your life. It is a cancer that eats away at your mind, your heart, and your soul.  If someone cuts you off on the freeway, you cuss them out in your heart and probably dwell on it for hours, maybe even days.  Meanwhile that other driver probably has no idea how you feel and is already moving on with his or her life.  Who's suffering? You are! Jesus said that if you will not forgive others their offenses against you neither will he forgive your offenses.  What a terrible thought?

Think of all the good you think you may have done in your life, it would be all for nothing if you stand before the throne and realize that due to your unforgiveness you will never enter the gates of heaven. Unforgiveness is important not only for your eternal life after your death, but it is critical for you to live a full life here on earth.  You cannot be truly free until you shed that useless baggage.  

Make a list of people who have offended you and begin contacting them by email, letter, phone, or in person.  Pray beforehand for for guidance and patience because it won't be easy.  Tell this person you forgive them.  Ask them to forgive you for judging them.  Don't try to fight or defend yourself, just accept that they may not want your forgiveness and they might not forgive you. They may even add to the list of things you should hate them for, but none of that matters.  What matters is that you do your part, then either reconcile or walk away.  I guarantee that if you do this in God's love there will be a burden lifted off your shoulders and you will begin to breath freely again. The first time is terrifying, but the more you do it, the more liberated you will be each day. God's mercy is waiting for those who show mercy were it is not deserved.

Man O God 

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15*

Why All the Suffering?

All this month, I've been hearing about so much suffering going on all around. Suffering in different countries. Suffering in our country. Suffering in our neighborhoods. Suffering of men, women, and children through violence, abuse, hunger, neglect, and so many other nameless horrors. With all this suffering, you may ask, "How can a loving God allow so much pain and suffering in the world?" You're not alone asking this question. It's a question many have asked going back to the oldest book in the Bible - Job. Job suffered in the most awful way and all so that God could prove to Satan that Job was a man dedicated to God because of his love, not because of the blessing that God bestowed upon Job. Sounds really harsh when you think about the deaths of his children, the loss of all his possessions, and the loss of his health doesn't it?
So why? Why so much suffering? Does God really love us like those Bible thumpers say He does? Yes, yes, and YES! God's love is never ending and unconditional. He loves you more than you can fathom. God's heart goes out to those who suffer in pain and hurt, but many times, the blackness of sin disrupts our connection with God and severs our relationship so that God can only watch helplessly as we wallow in our selfishness. When Jesus died on the cross, he died to grant us total freedom once and for all. We have freedom to chose whether to seek God's face or to seek our own destiny on our own. Each choice we make will either bring us a step closer to his love, mercy, protection, grace, guidance, and salvation or one step closer to independence, vulnerability, darkness, and depravity. God's people suffer just as anyone else, BUT! Yes, but, we suffer knowing that there will be a growing. There will be a newness when the suffering is over. God will never put more on you than you can handle. We do, however, put more on ourselves than we can handle and as a result we lose our minds at times and in extreme cases we take our own lives. Nevertheless, suffering is needed in order to grow. Athletes suffer vigorous training in order to attain peak muscular levels. Soldiers suffer extreme conditions in order to mentally and physically prepare for the horrors of war. Even in nature we see examples like the butterfly who tirelessly pushes out of the cocoon. If we were to remove this process and help that butterfly by cracking the cocoon open, we would doom the creature because the struggle is necessary to force vital blood into the crumpled wings that will enable it to fly.
So how, then do God's people endure this suffering of tragedy and loss? We must seek God's wisdom in all things, good or bad. He promised never to leave us nor forsake us. Millions have held him to that promise and He has always come through for those who have diligently sought him.



Seek him today. Look to Christ because He says, "Come unto me, all that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Man O God

When the Tears are Gone

Most of the time it's fairly easy to be happy - for a time. It's easy to get a few laughs from your favorite tv show, get a smile from your the one you love, or even get a quick fix from a bottle. Some of these things bring happiness which is not, in and of itself, necessarily good or bad, but real happiness is easy to spot. It's those times when you are so overwhelmed with happiness that tears well up in your eyes and flow like there's no tomorrow. It's Miss America being crowned. It's holding your first born in your arms. It's getting the news that the cancer is gone. It's winning the lottery. It's the look on his face when you say "Yes, I'll marry you". It's your son or daughter going off to college.



These are the moments that come by the pinch into our lives and make life really worth living.
Some who know and love God have those tearful moments whenever the love of God comes flowing suddenly and you feel so moved by it that you can't help but cry from the sheer joy of it. We call those moments "mountain-top" moments. Those moments are wonderful, but what happens when the tears dry up? What happens when the crown gets dusty and the wrinkles show up? What happens when the baby just won't shut up at 2 in the morning? What happens when the love of your life falls into a steady humdrum? What happens when everything falls back into the everyday norm again?
The fact is that life happens. Things tend to become boring again very quickly as the "newness" wears off and we realize that our spouse doesn't always make us laugh. Our children aren't always going to do the right thing, the lotto money ruined our lives, and even those mountain top episodes fade quickly.
So what is it that keeps us from becoming depressed and feeling like we've been let down? These are the times when it becomes important to deny oneself. Yep, I said it. DENY YOURSELF. Realize that your spouse, your children, your parents, your boss, and yes, even God are not here to entertain you. Those people are not even there to make sure you are comfortable. John F. Kennedy once said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country". I believe this goes for all things. Ask what you can do for your spouse, for your children, for your friends, your boss, and yes, your God. As you begin to serve others instead of yourself, you will open up new channels that you never knew existed before. By doing this, you can renew your joy in all things daily try it for yourself and see how your love toward others can turn quickly into receiving the same from others.

Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it. - Luke 17:33

Man O God

The Divinity and Humanity of Christ

Isn't it funny how when we go through things in life, especially those really rough times, like when we are hurting, ill, or lose a loved one, we always have people who come up to us and mean well, but always have a way of making things worse?  You know the types that say things like, "I know how you feel." or "I've been there".  Deep inside we say, "There is no possible way you can know what I'm going through".  We just smile, say words of gratitude and listen to their advice.  Mostly, they do all the talking and don't really listen to anything we are really feeling.
Okay, I know there are some exceptions out there and I pray that you have at least one friend out there that listens more than talks.  If, however, you find yourself without such a friend, rest easy.  There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24).  His name is Jesus.
I was speaking to a good friend of mine yesterday who wasn't clear on the Trinity and what it means.  I began to think that I take for granted all the things I learned in Sunday school and always believed that if I knew, everyone else must know.  Here's the nitty gritty on J.C. (yeah, we're close like that).
First, we need to understand that Jesus was, is, and always will be 100% man and 100% God.  I know that this is one of the most difficult things to understand, but it's vitally important to the hope we have as human beings.  If our hope in salvation from the ultimate penalty of sin rests squarely on Jesus' shoulders, then we need to trust in Him fully.  How can we trust in Him if we don't really know him?
Well I'll give you a little info on my Lord, my savior, my friend Jesus.  We know that he was there at the beginning with God and was God(John 1:1).  We also know that when he came to earth, he shed all his Godly qualities so that he could be just one of us (Hebrews 2:9).  We also know that he suffered in every way a man can know (Matthew 4:1, Hebrew 4:15).  When his mission was complete, he was raised again to the status He had before he came to earth (John 17:5).
This is how we can fully trust in Christ.  We know that he sufferred like we all do.  He was tempted like we all are and he overcame in all points.  This is why in all things we can and should go to Jesus for comfort, for support, for answers, and especially, for salvation from our own selfish desires.  When he says, "I know what you're going through", He really means it! (Psalm 139:2)
If you examine yourself today I can promise that you are exactly as close to God as you want to be at any given time in your life.  If you feel a million miles from God, it's because you put yourself there.  If you feel he won't hear you, it's because you don't really want to hear from Him.  He's just a prayer away (Hebrews 4:16).







Man O God

Pushing Forward

I have to admit I had a bit of a dry spell with my writing. I guess I was just waiting for some kind of inspiration to kick my in the butt and get me going.
Ever feel like that? Ever feel like you're just running on autopilot? Like your job, family, home, car, church, whatever are just going on mindlessly? At first I used to feel guilty about doing that. I used to think that if my heart wasn't in it, I shouldn't be doing it at all. In some cases that may be true, but as adults we quickly learn that some things are obligations and must be done regardless of how we feel about them.
It may seem mean spirited to think that playing with your kids or taking your spouse out for dinner are meaningless if your heart isn't in it, but they don't know that. There will be times in your life when you just have to keep on keeping on and wait upon God to renew your joy in those things again. I don't care how much you hate your job, your school, your spouse or whatever. If you keep pushing forward...and I don't mean grudgingly...I mean with some kind of decency, praying about it all the way, God will bring about a spark. That spark may fizzle on and off, but you keep pushing yourself and before you know it that spark will grow into a full blown forest fire!
The famous British prime minister Winston Churchill once gave a legendary speech that said," We shall never surrender!" That speech gave the people of Britain hope to fight the most relentless military machine of their time. Outnumbered and outgunned, they fought and fought until finally they overcame. I'm not saying it was a good time, I'm just saying it was worth it.

Now assess those things in your life and never surrender. It will be worth it. Like Paul said, "I have fought the good fight".

Man O God

Assuredly So

Today I was reflecting on a little talk I had with one of my kids that is quickly approaching teenagerism (I know its not a word, so what?!).  We had a talk about being selfish and stubborn.  I seem to be pretty good at recognizing it in others, yet I don't seem to find it in myself.  It took a divine mirror to show me that I am just as selfish and stubborn as the next person (maybe even worse).  At the end of our talk I explained that I am not perfect and hoped that would solve my issue with a "band-aid".  We talked about the uncertainty of things around us and people around us.  Then this morning I thought about several things.  It seems that things you can prove and things you are sure of are not the same.  I thought to myself, "I can prove the sun shines, but I'm not sure it will continue to burn tomorrow.  I can prove that I went to school, but I'm not sure I will remember that knowledge.  I can prove that where I work, but I'm not sure I will have a job tomorrow.  I can prove that I have a family, a home, a car, money, friends, etc., but I cannot be sure that I will continue to have any of those things when (or if) the sun comes up tomorrow."  Then I remembered there is one thing I cannot prove and yet, this I CAN be sure of.  I cannot prove that there is a loving, caring, unselfish, all-seeing, all-knowing God who loves me unconditionally, but I am sure beyond the shadow of a doubt that He is there, watching over me, my family, my home, my car, my money, my job, and yes, the sun.  I cannot prove to anyone that He is there, but I can rest peacefully at night without a worry in the world, because I know nothing can ever happen that He has not allowed to happen.  He has said, "All things work together for those who love God who are called according to His purpose."  So I can rest assured that He loves me and that He will always bless me in all things. 

Funny how the one thing we cannot prove is the only thing we can be 100% sure of.  :-)  Have a blessed day.

Man of God

Watch What You Say...

As I was readying my lesson for this coming Sunday, I was reading through the book of Numbers.  I was studying how God's people the Israelite people kept grumbling and complaining all the time.  They had spent 400 years in slavery to the Egyptians and when God sent Moses to free them, all they wanted to do was go back into slavery at every turn.  Then God decided to show them the land he had promised to their forefathers so they sent twelve spies into the land (then known as Canaan).  They spent 40 days checking out the place and realized it was a land of milk and honey full of fertile land, lush fruit, and everything they could ever dream of.  They also, however, saw fortified cities, men armed to the teeth and GIANTS!  

So they went back and reported that while it was a wonderful place, they couldn't take it because of all the obstacles.  One one man - Caleb saw it for what God made it out to be.  He pressed his people to go and take it because God had promised it.  Unfortunately, the people didn't believe him, they believed the negative reports of the other 11.  In Numbers 14:28 God said, "...as ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you."  Basically he was saying, whatever you say to me whether good or negative, God will do to you.  

Do you ever wonder why people who constantly complain that they are sick are always sick?  People who say they never have money never do.  People who are bad at math really are?  I learned a few years back that the words we say about our circumstances will come true.  If you really want to make a positive change in your own life then start speaking it out so God can make the changes.  

It won't happen over night so get that out of your head, but as you begin to say things like, "I AM good at math" or "I am a good parent" or "I have a good job" these things will eventually turn around for you.  If you continue to speak those things eventually you will believe them and God will bring it to pass.  

Then once you have allowed God to make those positive changes in your life, begin to speak them into the lives of others and teach them to do the same.  

Don't make the same mistake those people did.  When things go wrong, don't say, "See it doesn't work, let me just go back to being miserable (a slave again)."  Keep believing in the promises God has for you.  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future - Jeremiah 29:11

Man O God

I'm a Provider

The role of men in the family has drastically changed over the last one hundred years.  As the industrial revolution began, more jobs became available and the population around cities soared.  Women went to work and sometimes men stayed home to take care of children.  Men began to learn to cook, clean, and change diapers, while women became professionals in various careers.  Anyone attending a graduation ceremony today can see that over 75% of college graduates are female.  What has happened to men who care for and provide for their families?
Thirteen years ago, my wife and I made a brave, but wise choice.  She was pregnant with our first child and we weighed the costs of her continued career path and her becoming a stay-at-home mom.  For us the choice was clear.  We would spend more on formula, day care, gas, and lunch if she continued to work instead of staying home with our children.  Since we had planned to have a large family it was almost a no-brainer.
Since then we have had hard times, but by God's grace we have not only made a living, we have excelled!
One thing I had to learn, however, was that my two main priorities as a father were 1) showing my family how to live Godly lives and 2) Providing for my family.
1 Timothy 5:8 says, "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.  This was a tough lesson for me to learn.  In this day and age men are bombarded with negative images from television and Hollywood if they are work-a-holics, so some men say things like, "I will always be there for my children,  I will make every baseball game, I will make it to every recital, etc."  While this is a noble idea, it is not realistic.  I was thinking like this one day as I began a business that was giving me a lot of time with my kids, but leaving us broke.
I had to ask my father for a loan, and I got a lecture I'll never forget.  He said to me that his father may not always have been there for them, but he always made sure they had clothes on their backs, food on the table, and a roof over their head.  It was then that I realized I must make sacrifices as a father.
A year later I was serving in Iraq and in danger of losing my life every day.  Yet, I never complained to my family and never let them know I was in danger.  I simply knew that it was my duty to make sure my family was well provided for.
If a father works, it doesn't make him a bad father, it means he wants to make sure his family has all the things they need to survive and thrive.  Now don't get me wrong, it doesn't give fathers a license to work every day until their children are asleep to escape their responsibilities at home either.  I know my children need my attention as well.  When I arrive home I give all my children love and attention as they need it so that they know they have a father who cares for every aspect of their life.
Yet my children know that if push comes to shove I will do everything in my power to provide for them and to make sure we have food, clothes, and shelter.  If that means taking two or three jobs, so be it.  If that means selling produce on the side of the road because there are no jobs, then so be it.  Even so, there are limits.  If you've ever watched Cinderella Man then you see the choices men sometimes have to make.  Never steal from others to provide for you or your family.  In all things keep God's commandments and He will make sure you are blessed in all things.
Given that our labor market is the worst its been in decades, this is easier said than done especially if you've been looking for work.  All I can say is do the possible, and God will do the impossible.



Man O God

End of the World as We Know It?

Today, so many people sat at the edge of their seat awaiting judgement day.  According to a false prophet named, Harold Camping, who by the way doesn't mind being called a false prophet, today, May 21, 2011 was the day that Christ would return to earth while a massive earthquake put everyone else to horrific torment.  Well, as with every doomsday date setter before, he was wrong.  Unfortunately, many people believed in him and will continue to believe his stories and will continue to throw money at him for the rest of their lives.

So what does this tell us?  How can this help us learn about ourselves, God, our family, and the world?  Funny you should ask.  I believe God always uses things that Satan intends for evil, shapes them and brings about good things for those who diligently seek Him in all things.  So how can we come away with something from these false teachings?

Well what if not today, but tomorrow is the end of the world?  what if it's next week or the month after that?  One thing I can tell you is that the world as you and I know it will cease to exist one day.  Actually within the next 130 or so years my world and your world will end.  I'm not saying the earth, but your world.  When I close my eyes on this earth and take my last breath my world will end here and will begin in another place.  The same goes for you.

As humans, we tend to think about the here and now more than anything that isn't tangible.  We tend to forgo the future for superficial gains in the present.  Much like the grasshopper in the story of the ant and the grasshopper, we feel like everything is great now.  Everything is as it should be so let's eat, drink, and be merry.  Well, I have news for you, nothing lasts forever.

Eventually you, I, and every other soul in this world will stand before the great white throne of judgement to give an account of our lives.  We will be asked if we had a relationship with the Son of God, Jesus.  We will be asked if we were obedient and faithful to the King of kings and Lord or lords.  Then they will search for our names in the Book of Life and if your name is not to be found, you will be cast into utter darkness without the love, guidance, or protection of God for all eternity.

Thus we need to be prepared.  As fathers, we need to ask God to teach us to obey his Word in every area of our lives.  We need to teach our children to obey God's Word and to teach others to do the same.  Your children will never listen, however, if you do not hold yourself to the standards you teach so don't expect to drop off your kids at Sunday school and pick them up as saints because it doesn't work like that.  Your children will likely mimic your words and your actions as they grow.  They are very observant and will catch even things you think they didn't see.  This means you need to guard your heart at all times.

Granted there will be times when you are not in control of your thoughts or actions such as when you dream, but the moment you wake you'll need to "take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ".  This means understanding that there was an attack on your mind throughout your dream and you must repent and ask God to cleanse you from any unrighteousness.  Don't hesitate or it will consume you.

As we wait for the glorious day of the Lord and ignore those who claim to have special insight as to the specific day that will occur, remember to always live your life as if it were your last.  If you close this window and suddenly succumb to a heart attack or aneurysm, where will you spend eternity?  Will you regret your decision to live for your own self gratification?  Will you regret your neglect of God's Word?  Don't gamble with your soul.  It is the only thing God has given you that you have control over - your freewill.  Your children will thank you for being a true man of God and teaching them His ways.

Man O God

They Are Not You

The suffix "Jr." is not uncommon.  As a matter of fact, in my community it's probably more common than uncommon.  What father wouldn't want to name a son after his own name?  It's a proud moment when you hold your own son or daughter in your hands.  You've heard many people say things like, "He's a chip off the old block", or "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree", or even "He's a split image of his father (or her mother)".  Yet in all the ways that your son or daughter may look, talk, or act just like you, there is still one fundamental difference - that child is still his or her own person!

Your child will eventually form his or her own ideas, opinions, beliefs, and make their own decisions.  Those things will not always conform to your own.  If your child always did exactly as you do, then they really would not be your son or daughter, they would just be a mirror image or a carbon copy of you.  Although some people would like to think it would be a good idea to have another them, when you really think about it, it would actually be quite a nightmare.  Imagine if you had absolutely no surprises because you already knew what they were thinking all the time.  There is no joy in having children that do exactly what you tell them to do every day, every week, every year.

When they finally do make a decision that is contrary to what you know or believe, it is going to cause some conflict.  You are going to want it done like this and they are going to want to do it like that.  You will insist that you know what you're doing, and they will insist that they can do it better.  Then the fight starts, or you may even punish them for their creativity.  There will be times when you have every right to stand your ground like in cases of crime, drugs, homework, and the like.  Most of the other times however, you have to give a little room for them to become who God created them to be.

It may be painful to think of the inevitable, that one day your little birds will fly off on their own to start nests of their very own, but it is reality.  I once heard someone say, "Pick your battles wisely".  I've had to follow my own advice on a daily basis with my teenager.  I don't always choose wisely, but I'm still learning and will continue to learn.

I don't like the hairstyles my children choose because I've been in the military too long.  I used to cut my boys' hair.  Every haircut was the same - high and tight.  At first they didn't say anything except "ouch" when I accidentally pulled their hair, but after a while they all began to slowly protest to mom that they didn't want their hair cut by dad anymore.  At first I was hurt.  "What's wrong with my haircuts?", I would ask my wife.  When my oldest began to slop handfuls of hair gel onto his head and looking like Martin Short's Saturday Night Live character, Ed Grimley, I discouraged him with negative comments.  It didn't take long before I felt that tap on my shoulder. It was the Holy Spirit convicting me that I was doing the wrong thing.

Although I didn't approve of his hair style, there was nothing intrinsically wrong with it.  He wasn't going to go out and slash tires, break bottles, or burn someone's house down.  He was just finding a way to express himself as an individual.  I was reminded of Joseph and his coat of many colors.  His brothers didn't actually hate the coat, they were jealous that he had something they didn't.  I began to wonder if I wasn't a bit jealous that my son has his youth and the wonder that comes with it.

As your children grow and begin to reveal themselves to the world through their dress, their hair, the music they like and the art they create, be responsive but not reactive.  Respond to what they do with love and nurturing care.  Be quick to listen and slow to criticize.  Ask the Holy Spirit to help you recognize when their behavior should be corrected, when it should be encouraged, and when you should be cautious.  Yes I said cautious.  There will be times when your children will do things that are not necessarily hurtful, negative, or bad in and of themselves, but you'll need to sit back and carefully watch and gentle guide in the right path.  If you're in tune with Christ by reading his word, the Bible on a daily basis, then you should have the Holy Spirit to help you recognize negative trends in your children.

Need an example?  Eventually kids will want attend a party or get-together hosted by one of their friends.  You'll need to know who their friends are and know who their parents are.  Don't hold them back unless you begin to question what will be going on at these parties.  It is not only your right to investigate the matter, but also your obligation as a parent to protect your child from the influence of drugs, alcohol, crime, and other children or adults that are in troublesome situations.  Never hesitate to drive to a place where you know your child is participating in any of these things.  They may become angry, say terrible things, and carry a grudge for a while, but in the end they will see that you loved them enough to care about them.  They will learn to respect you and cherish your guidance.

Remember you are called to be a parent not a friend to your children.  Don't give in to try to be that "cool" dad just because you are trying to get in good with your child.  They don't need another friend who won't protect their mind, their body, and their soul.  They need a parent who will discipline, correct, love, and care for every part of them and lead them always to the throne of God.

Finally, don't be angry or upset if your children grow up with no interest in sports, or cars, or whatever it is you happen to like.  They may pretend to enjoy these things because they have a desire to please you, but deep inside they really don't care at all for some of your favorite things.  Give them the opportunity to say no to basketball games or changing the oil if you know they have no interest.  Find out what they like and try showing some interest in those things from time to time.  Have fun exploring your child's imagination and thoughts.

Man O God

What's in it for me?

I'm going to hold off on part IV (4) of How to Teach the Children for a while because right about now, someone out there is thinking, "How is all this parenting going to make me happy?"  It seems human beings for the most part live in very selfish worlds where everything seems to revolve around "me".  Telling a young father that his role is to sacrifice himself can be pretty heart wrenching so I'll go easy on the explanation in way everyone can understand.

There was once a very greedy man who heard of a rumor that there was a goose that laid golden eggs in a town half way around the world.  Consumed with his own selfish desire, he sold everything he had to book a passage on a ship and journeyed to this place he had heard so much about.
When he arrived he saw a town flourishing with wonderfully extravagant shops, houses, and attire everywhere.  In the middle of the town there was a small home made of luxurious and expensive materials. People would stop in and visit whomever lived in the home.  The greedy man was so full of curiosity that he quickly moved to examine this miniature house that appeared to be made for a small person.  Inside was a beautiful goose that sat and laid the most beautiful golden eggs.  Each day the goose would lay one egg and each day whenever the eggs became too numerous the towns people would go and collect them.  The most unusal thing was the this goose appeared to have something in its throat because about every minute or so, it would crane its necks, chomp the air as if choking, then settle down again.  All the towns people loved the goose and only took the golden eggs when they were beginning to crowd the goose.
One night the greedy man crept into the goose's house, clamped his hand around the goose's beak and stole away with it.  He fled into the hills and watched the goose day after day.  Each day he noticed the goose was getting thinner and thinner.  No matter what the greedy man brought the goose, the goose refused to eat.  Finally after what seemed like weeks, the man returned with the goose and in frustration threw the goose back into the town.
The towns people were so glad to see their goose that tears of joy fell from their cheeks.  The goose seemed to go into a seizure.  It's mouth opened and closed dramatically and appeared to snap at nothing in the air.  Finally, after a few moments the goose settled down and the townspeople gathered around it.  The greedy man approached the crowd fearful that they might try to punish him for his deed, but they simply embraced him.
Finally the would-be thief found the courage to speak and asked why the goose didn't lay any eggs for him.  The inhabitants of the town replied that the goose was starving in his presence.  The goose fed on love.  The love that the townspeople showed for the goose and each other was what caused it to lay golden eggs.

Many people seek happiness in other people or things or circumstances, but fail to see that true joy doesn't come from those things, but the attitude we have toward those things and people.  If you decide to have children because you think they will make you happy, you are going to be sorely disappointed my friend.  You will not receive joy from your children.  The attitude you have toward your children will be the joy you receive.
Learn to love first first.  If you're like me, I didn't have a clue how to love myself, my wife, or anyone else for that matter.  I had to ask God to show me how to love.  He did and today I love my wife of 20 years more than I ever have before.  I learned to love my children because of the love God first had for little, old, imperfect me.

Today my children lay those eggs of joy for my wife and I to gather each day.  While our kids can and will get under our skin, it is our love for them that allows us all to make mistakes, forgive, and learn from those mistake.

 ¹¹If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? (Matthew 7:11, King James Version)

Man O God

The Basics

So far, I've talked a lot about fatherhood, but I haven't quite touched on the Godly part.  What does it mean to be Godly?  What makes one father Godly and another unGodly?  Keep in mind I'm not talking about being godly with a lower case "g", I'm talking about being a follower of the one true God, the creator of heaven and earth.  The King of kings, and Lord of lords is better known as Jesus Christ.  Instead of going off onto a theological discussion that will bore you to tears, I'm going to give it to you plainly and in Christ's own words.

Although there are a plethora of religions, sects, denominations, cults, and ideologies, there ultimately can only be one way.  If it were not so, then it would not matter one iota and they would all be for nothing.  So let's just look at the physical evidence.  Of all the religions of the world, Christianity stands out for two vital reasons.  First, ever other religion requires you to reach out to their god or gods.  You must perform rituals to appease their god(s) tastes.  Christianity stands out because it is God's attempt to reach out to you.  God realized that their isn't anything you or I can do to appease Him because "...all our righteousnesses is like filthy rags..." (Isaiah 64:6).  So God "gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16).  That means God reached out to you because you couldn't reach him no matter how hard you tried.  God came down to our level by becoming human and being tried just like us.  He suffered temptation, persecution, pain, loneliness, and death just like us but overcame in every area because he was blameless in all areas.
Secondly, you can travel the world and tour all the holy sites for every religion.  You will find the burial place of every great teacher of wisdom, philosophy, religion, and discipline.  You will find the resting place of Mohamed, Buddha, Mahavira, and a host of other wanna-be gods that are now in their graves.  Jesus Christ of Nazareth, however, is not in his grave, because he rose from the dead.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans5:8 (NIV)


Now that you have heard this you have only two choices: Follow him and become Godly, or close this page and be forever separated from his eternal love.  He will never force you into His loving arms, but he will wait patiently.  It is He that gives you the ability to love and to have joy that surpasses all understanding.

Man O God

How to Teach the Children (Part III)

I have to admit when I was about a year away from having a teenager in the house I was a little worried I might not be up to the task, but now that it's here, I can honestly say it's really not as bad as people make it out to be.  Granted I have raised my teenager according to everything I've spoken about in this blog so I do have an advantage - the Lord's guidance.   If you already have teens and are just now discovering the ideas in the blog, then you have your work cut out for you.  You'll have just a few short years to show your child that you are a man of your word.  You have to stop analyzing your past, get serious about being a man of God and find out what God's plan for your life is so that you can pass that knowledge over to the next generation - namely your children.
As my children grow, I try my best to give them glimpses of the road map ahead.  I try to tell them where our relationship will go as they grow, but I have to keep it simple, because I don't want them to feel overwhelmed or, (worse) bored.  So I explain it like this:
In the first years of life, my job as a father is to love them but also to firmly establish that my wife and I are the ones who are responsible for their emotional, spiritual, physical and mental growth.  My wife handles most of the emotional growth, but that doesn't exempt me from loving them with soothing words, hugs, kisses, and attention when they need it.  I am the spiritual head of my own household so I must make sure that my children know our God and love our God.  I make sure we are active in church, active in our neighborhood, and active in the Word of God.  I must make sure that my children grow physically by working to bring in an income to support their ravenous intake of food!  Finally, I must be sure to send them off to school and supplement that education with common worldly knowledge that they just won't learn in school.  They need to know how to wash dishes, drive, change a tire, make their bed, etc.

So in those early years, I have to paddle them, yes, but I also have to start them on this long journey.  They do not make their own decisions - my wife and I make them for them - PERIOD.

In the next stage of early childhood, we begin to allow them a few choices such as they are allowed to choose their clothes (with some guidance), they are allowed to have some free time to play as they choose, etc.  For the most part we still hover over them to make sure they are not taking advantage of what little freedom they have.

Now as teenagers, I have told my son that he is going to have to begin making real choices because he will have more freedom.  He knows and understands that his freedom comes with responsibility.  We allow the strings to become slack, but if he fails in his responsibilities we reel in that slack again.  He has already learned this the hard way several times, but he has learned not to make the same mistake twice.  I know what you're thinking - "You mean he knows how not to get caught!".  Remember in my earlier blog that I mentioned one act that would get an instant spanking?  Lying is highly discouraged in our home so that it is like second nature to tell the truth even if it comes with some consequences.  Our children understand this so we know we are getting the full picture when he tells us his story.

These teenage years have to become the proving ground of our children's ability to handle their own lives.  We need to begin loosening the reins of parenthood, but strongly guide their actions and remind them constantly that their actions now can bring permanent consequences.  My teen know that having a child at his age will seriously and permanently change his life now.  He knows that going to jail for theft, larceny, violence, etc. will seriously, and negatively change the course of his life.  I reassure my teen that we are still behind him and support him, but remind him that any choices he makes will ultimately hurt or help HIS life, and not so much ours.

Remember that the teenage years are some of the most stressful years of life so its important now, more than ever to shower them with love.  That tough love turns to understanding love and patient love.  Let them make some mistakes.  Let them learn, but be sure to remind them to always look to Christ for guidance above all things in their lives.

Man O God

How to Teach the Children (Part II)

So you made it past the "terrible two's" huh?  Personally, my kids never had terrible two's they somehow created terrible three's though...Anyway, by now you're little one is in the childhood stage which usually runs more or less from the age of 5 through 10.  Now, I'm using vague time frames here because each child is different and they tend to mature at various rates depending on how well you handled your fatherly business in part I.  If you're still raging at their lack of obedience, stop what you're doing, take a deep breath and give yourself some time to regroup. 
By now, you should not have to give too many harsh spankings because your child should know you mean business (if you've been consistent so far).  Things get a little less stressful during these years because your child will respect and love you as their daddy because you have clearly set the boundaries in the discipline department. 
Remember the word "discipline" is derived from the word "disciple" so you're actually raising little "you's".  If you've been molding your life around Christ, then you should be exhibiting Godly behavior and your child will follow your example. 
I remember some of the most wonderful times I had was when my first born was around 3 years old.  We would be at church, the music would be really kicking!  I would take my son to the front and dance around with him.  He and I would hold hands and jump around in a little circle to the music. He loved to do that and so did I.
He's now a teenager, but he hasn't forgotten his love for God because that's how I discipled him. 
So, back to those childhood years.  These years are critical to your child's growth because he or she will be developing their character during these years.  It will be up to you to mold them correctly because as they near the teenage years it will be more and more difficult to change their behavior; it will be ingrained into them.
Think of an oak tree for a moment.  When it first grows, it's easy to wrap a straight stick around the thin trunk to keep it growing straight and upright.  As it grows, the tree begins to form thicker branches and the trunk becomes nearly impossible to shift.  It has fully developed the shape of its trunk or foundation and if you try to change it, most likely it will become severely damaged or killed.
This is why those childhood years are also very important.  You will need to answer each and every question your child has.  Spend time developing your relationship with him or her.  Sit down and color with them.  Tell them stories and play games.  Remember that those things you now take for granted are brand new to them.  Those corny old jokes you knew in elementary school are probably funny to them.  Those little toys you became bored with as a teenager are GREAT for a little child so break out the jacks and the marbles.  And by all means never lie and never allow your child to lie to you.
We have a rule in our home.  Whenever I ask a question, our kids are expected to tell the truth no matter how scared they are of the consequences.  They know if they tell the truth, I may ground them, or maybe even pardon them with a warning, but if they lie all my kids know it is an AUTOMATIC spanking.  No questions asked.  This has kept my children out of so much trouble in school and home and with their friends.  Their teachers know they can expect honesty from my children so if there is ever a problem, they will approach my kids for accuracy.
Also, be sure to emphasize that love is so, so important in the life of your child.  Show them to love those that try to hurt them and pray for those that hate them.
My oldest son once came to me with a bully problem.  This one boy would always say mean things to my son and my son came to me with advice.  I told him, "Here's what you're going to do son.  I want you to take one of those fruit roll-ups from the pantry.  Put it in your backpack.  Tomorrow when you see this boy, take it out, tell him, "Here this is for you, I forgive you." and give it to him with a smile. 
I tell you my son was just as surprised as that boy.  His reaction was one of bewilderment and confusion, but he never picked on my son again.
This is because Jesus said, "love your enemies.  Pray for those who persecute you".  If you teach your children these and other lesson from Christ, they will grow strong in character and prosper in all things.

Man O God

How to Teach the Children (part I)

When I first thought about writing on discipline with children I thought I would write a few things, but the more I thought about it, I decided it was going to be more of a task that I first expected.  I'm going to split this topic up into four segments dealing with four different aspects of discipline.  Because children go through different stages in life.  These four stages are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and transition. 
Today I'll cover (probably) the most important stage - infancy.  While some experts may beg to differ with me on this subject, I'll stand firm on my belief because I have lived through it successfully with five children.  It has become something of an expectation whenever we go to a restaurant, store, or other public place that, almost without fail, someone randomly walks up to my wife or I and says, "Are these all YOUR children?!  They are so well behaved!"  We smile proudly, say, "Thank you" and give God all the credit for his teaching.   You may be asking right about now, "Okay what's the trick?" 
No trick.  You have to be able to read God's Word, apply it to your life and be consistent in everything you say and do in your life. 
I remember taking my son's (we only had two at the time) to my mother's house.  My oldest was about 22 months old and tended to get a little spoiled whenever we visited.  I would start my discipline routine...whenever my child gets out of line I have a three strike rule:

1. The first offense - A very mild, but firm "No. don't do that/touch that/go there"
2. The second offense - A stern and louder "No! I told you not to do that/touch that/go there!"
3. The third offense - A VERY vocal, "NO! NO! NO!  If you keep on next time you will get it!"
4. The fourth offense - I take my child to a private place (the next room, the bathroom, etc) and the get a spanking.  I would always use either a belt or a paddle, but never my hand.

I know most people will argue with me on this point but it doesn't matter.  What matters is that it worked with all five of my children.  They aren't seething with mental issues, they aren't rebelious kids, they don't even exibit violent behavior.  I exonerate those parents who will lovingly give their child a swat on the rear now rather than have that child take a bullet in the future because they never learned that bad behavior results in consequences.
Well for those of your that are folding your arms and puckering your lips in disgust I have this for you.  My mom and her husband, my late step-father once pulled me aside and told me that they disagreed with my methods and that I was not to raise my voice or spank my children at their house (true story ask my mom :-))  So for a couple of months I would not raise a finger to discipline them at their home.  It wasn't long before my kids realized they had full reign of the house and began to destroy it.  They quickly changed their minds about the discipline and I said, "Thank you.  I'll take care of this now"  My mom will be the first to defend my actions whenever someone says they don't think its right.
The infancy/toddler years are going to be trying for a father.  These children WILL test you.  Be ready for it.  Every one of my children tried (and failed) to find ways to manipulate me and my wife.  They watch everything you do and they remember almost as much!
Once my children figured out that I meant business and ALWAYS followed through, it was only a matter of time before the next one fell in line because the older siblings would talk to the "newbie" and say things like, "Oh boy you're gonna get it now" or "Wait till dad hears about this". 
My children always tried this at public places because they figured I couldn't spank them in public without making a scene.  Here's what I would do:
Whenever my child would begin throwing a fit at the table at a restaraunt or store, I would use the three strike rule unless they started screaming at the top of their lungs.  You'll see this a couple of times.  NEVER EVER reward this type of behavior by giving your child what they want or giving them candies and such.  If you do they will continue to do it over and over again.  Anyway, I would calmly stand up from my chair without an expression on my face.  No anger, no yelling, no sudden movements.  Calmly picked up my screaming, kicking toddler and walked briskly to the restroom.  Once inside I would pick stall, stand my child up, stoop or squat down and very firmly point a finger saying, "Now YOU listen to ME.  You will stop this RIGHT NOW or I will give you a good spanking for it do you understand?!"  Wait for a response. "Now why are going to wait here until you stop this screaming/crying and then we are going to go back outside.  You are going to sit in your chair, eat your food, and not say another word until you finish are we clear?!  Good.  now let's wipe your face and clean you up.  Are you ready now?  Okay."  The looks on people's faces in the restaraunt was priceless.  The awe spoke volumes.  I would came back, sit my child down, place a napkin over their lap and sit down next to them to eat.  Its funny thinking about it now, but at the time I took it very seriously.
While I can go on about my adventures with my toddlers, I can't fit it all into this posting.  The main thing to remember is that your infant needs to get used to the sound of your voice so that he/she can recognize when you are not pleased about something.  You should never spank an infant because they will not comprehend why they are feeling pain and also you will most definitely cause an injury.  Toddlers, however, do understand and will purposefully attempt to gauge how much they can get away with.  Believe it or not children will appreciate those boundries and will come to love and respect you for it.  Here are a few rules for if and when you ever have to dole it out:

• Never spank out of anger or frustration.  Give yourself time to calm down so you can explain why they are receiving such a punishment.
• Always follow through; if you said you would do it then do it.  Don't back down because they will see you as a pushover or worse - not a man of your word.
• Always shower your child with love even after a spanking so they know you love them dispite the harsh punishment.  I always had a mental rule that for every spanking I had to give I would give 10 times as many hugs, kisses, and "I love you's" in any combination.
• Always be mindful that you spank only on the bottom.  Never slap, pinch, kick, punch or spank on other body parts.  The buttocks is full of cushion (that's why we can spend so much time on it! ;-)) so take your time and do it right
• Never let anyone make you feel guilty about spanking.  These are your children and only you know how best to deal with them. 

For some unknown reason my wife cannot understand, the children seemed to love me more whenever I corrected them.  She would look so confused because only 3 minutes after a spanking my child would be sitting next to me holding me as if I were the world to them.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proberbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Got comments?  Let 'em rip.

Man O God

Were you planning on sleeping?

Woah boy!  Now it begins.  Now if you are fortunate, like my wife and I were with our first son, your baby won't make too much noise.  Our son didn't cry much, he would just wimper a little until momma started her feeding.  Most babies, however, are VERY vocal about pretty much anything. 

I hope I'm not scaring you, it doesn't last forever so don't freak out (yet).  The main things to keep in mind are that if your baby cries all hours of the night its pretty normal.  Too many new parent spend hard earned money taking a perfectly health baby to the emergency room because they feared their baby was in pain or something unnatural was occuring.  While there are a few cases where emergency room care may be necessary, the vast majority of crying babies need only a few things: food, rest, changing, and love.  Here's a list of things to check on when junior start wailing at 2am in the morning:

First check to make sure babies diaper doesn't need to be changed.  This is done simply by sticking your finger inside the diaper and feeling for moisture or (eww) goo.  Yes you're going to get your hands dirty so you'd better get used to it mom and dad!  Okay here's a little bit of info my wife won't want me to share...She had no earthly idea how to care for a baby when she became a mommy the first time.  Since I was usually babysitting my little sisters, I had a pretty good idea how to deal with newborn baby problems. 

Secondly, carefully lift your baby and be sure to support his or head little head because they don't have much control over their muscles at this early age and if you allow your little one's head to droop they can get a neck inury.  Now softly lay baby's head over your shoulder (you may want to put a bib over your pj's) and softly pat your baby's back.  Make some soothing noises like "there there" or "shhh shhh shhh shh" any soft comforting noise will do.  Most of the time one of these two methods will get baby quiet and sleeping again in no time.

If however, your baby continues to wail at the top of their cute little lungs (I know they don't seem too cute screaming at 3 am) then it may be time for food.  Just in case somebody out there is really, really new to this, newborn babies only drink breastmilk or special baby formula.  DO NOT EVER give newborns solid food or even regular milk during those first few weeks.  Newborns have a very sensitive stomach for the first few weeks so unless you have 5 or 6 days and nights to spare staying up with a cholicy or very sick baby, stick to baby formula and/or breastmilk (Women ONLY dad. I don't care what you saw on Family Guy!)

Remember when I said you need to pray for your baby while it is in the womb?  Well now it is time to pray for you and the rest of the family.  Your patience will be tried dad!  It's going to be tough, but you're not the first person to miss out of a full nights sleep over a crying baby.  Get over it and soon enough he or she will be getting into one of those normal baby sleeping routines in no time.

There are going to be cases when you try just about everything and junior will just continue to scream and scream until all hours of the night.  Give it a few nights.  Your baby may just have a bad night or two.  However, if you're baby cries abnormally loud or cries continually no matter what, then carefull check your baby for any injuries like bruising or deformities.  In some rare cases, babies may become injured and it becomes necessary to take them in to the ER immediately.

Alright I think I've frightened you enough now.  Here's the good stuff to remember about your newborn son(s) or daughter(s):

• They are a blessing from the Lord.
• When your baby finally opens his or her eyes you and your spouse will be the first one(s) to see those beautiful baby eyes.
• A baby's smile is absolutely breath-taking!
• Enjoy singing, reading, talking, and walking with your newborn.
• If the weather isn't bad take your newborn for a stroller ride but make sure they are bundled up even in warmer weather because newborns don't regulate their body temperature too well the first few weeks.
• Its okay to play with your newborn.  Even when they appear to be sleeping they may be awake and aware so talk, laugh, play with their hands and feet and just love on them as much as you want.
• Newborns form bonds with their parents during these first months so make sure to have as much skin to skin contact as possible like rubbing your cheeks together or kissing baby's belly.

By the way be sure to wash your hands and keep sickly people away from your baby (politely) so that you won't risk getting your baby sick. 

Above all, pray, pray, pray over your baby, your fatherhood and your spouse so that God's hand will be over your newest family member in all things. 

Enjoy.