How to Teach the Children (part I)

When I first thought about writing on discipline with children I thought I would write a few things, but the more I thought about it, I decided it was going to be more of a task that I first expected.  I'm going to split this topic up into four segments dealing with four different aspects of discipline.  Because children go through different stages in life.  These four stages are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and transition. 
Today I'll cover (probably) the most important stage - infancy.  While some experts may beg to differ with me on this subject, I'll stand firm on my belief because I have lived through it successfully with five children.  It has become something of an expectation whenever we go to a restaurant, store, or other public place that, almost without fail, someone randomly walks up to my wife or I and says, "Are these all YOUR children?!  They are so well behaved!"  We smile proudly, say, "Thank you" and give God all the credit for his teaching.   You may be asking right about now, "Okay what's the trick?" 
No trick.  You have to be able to read God's Word, apply it to your life and be consistent in everything you say and do in your life. 
I remember taking my son's (we only had two at the time) to my mother's house.  My oldest was about 22 months old and tended to get a little spoiled whenever we visited.  I would start my discipline routine...whenever my child gets out of line I have a three strike rule:

1. The first offense - A very mild, but firm "No. don't do that/touch that/go there"
2. The second offense - A stern and louder "No! I told you not to do that/touch that/go there!"
3. The third offense - A VERY vocal, "NO! NO! NO!  If you keep on next time you will get it!"
4. The fourth offense - I take my child to a private place (the next room, the bathroom, etc) and the get a spanking.  I would always use either a belt or a paddle, but never my hand.

I know most people will argue with me on this point but it doesn't matter.  What matters is that it worked with all five of my children.  They aren't seething with mental issues, they aren't rebelious kids, they don't even exibit violent behavior.  I exonerate those parents who will lovingly give their child a swat on the rear now rather than have that child take a bullet in the future because they never learned that bad behavior results in consequences.
Well for those of your that are folding your arms and puckering your lips in disgust I have this for you.  My mom and her husband, my late step-father once pulled me aside and told me that they disagreed with my methods and that I was not to raise my voice or spank my children at their house (true story ask my mom :-))  So for a couple of months I would not raise a finger to discipline them at their home.  It wasn't long before my kids realized they had full reign of the house and began to destroy it.  They quickly changed their minds about the discipline and I said, "Thank you.  I'll take care of this now"  My mom will be the first to defend my actions whenever someone says they don't think its right.
The infancy/toddler years are going to be trying for a father.  These children WILL test you.  Be ready for it.  Every one of my children tried (and failed) to find ways to manipulate me and my wife.  They watch everything you do and they remember almost as much!
Once my children figured out that I meant business and ALWAYS followed through, it was only a matter of time before the next one fell in line because the older siblings would talk to the "newbie" and say things like, "Oh boy you're gonna get it now" or "Wait till dad hears about this". 
My children always tried this at public places because they figured I couldn't spank them in public without making a scene.  Here's what I would do:
Whenever my child would begin throwing a fit at the table at a restaraunt or store, I would use the three strike rule unless they started screaming at the top of their lungs.  You'll see this a couple of times.  NEVER EVER reward this type of behavior by giving your child what they want or giving them candies and such.  If you do they will continue to do it over and over again.  Anyway, I would calmly stand up from my chair without an expression on my face.  No anger, no yelling, no sudden movements.  Calmly picked up my screaming, kicking toddler and walked briskly to the restroom.  Once inside I would pick stall, stand my child up, stoop or squat down and very firmly point a finger saying, "Now YOU listen to ME.  You will stop this RIGHT NOW or I will give you a good spanking for it do you understand?!"  Wait for a response. "Now why are going to wait here until you stop this screaming/crying and then we are going to go back outside.  You are going to sit in your chair, eat your food, and not say another word until you finish are we clear?!  Good.  now let's wipe your face and clean you up.  Are you ready now?  Okay."  The looks on people's faces in the restaraunt was priceless.  The awe spoke volumes.  I would came back, sit my child down, place a napkin over their lap and sit down next to them to eat.  Its funny thinking about it now, but at the time I took it very seriously.
While I can go on about my adventures with my toddlers, I can't fit it all into this posting.  The main thing to remember is that your infant needs to get used to the sound of your voice so that he/she can recognize when you are not pleased about something.  You should never spank an infant because they will not comprehend why they are feeling pain and also you will most definitely cause an injury.  Toddlers, however, do understand and will purposefully attempt to gauge how much they can get away with.  Believe it or not children will appreciate those boundries and will come to love and respect you for it.  Here are a few rules for if and when you ever have to dole it out:

• Never spank out of anger or frustration.  Give yourself time to calm down so you can explain why they are receiving such a punishment.
• Always follow through; if you said you would do it then do it.  Don't back down because they will see you as a pushover or worse - not a man of your word.
• Always shower your child with love even after a spanking so they know you love them dispite the harsh punishment.  I always had a mental rule that for every spanking I had to give I would give 10 times as many hugs, kisses, and "I love you's" in any combination.
• Always be mindful that you spank only on the bottom.  Never slap, pinch, kick, punch or spank on other body parts.  The buttocks is full of cushion (that's why we can spend so much time on it! ;-)) so take your time and do it right
• Never let anyone make you feel guilty about spanking.  These are your children and only you know how best to deal with them. 

For some unknown reason my wife cannot understand, the children seemed to love me more whenever I corrected them.  She would look so confused because only 3 minutes after a spanking my child would be sitting next to me holding me as if I were the world to them.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proberbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Got comments?  Let 'em rip.

Man O God