The role of men in the family has drastically changed over the last one hundred years. As the industrial revolution began, more jobs became available and the population around cities soared. Women went to work and sometimes men stayed home to take care of children. Men began to learn to cook, clean, and change diapers, while women became professionals in various careers. Anyone attending a graduation ceremony today can see that over 75% of college graduates are female. What has happened to men who care for and provide for their families?
Thirteen years ago, my wife and I made a brave, but wise choice. She was pregnant with our first child and we weighed the costs of her continued career path and her becoming a stay-at-home mom. For us the choice was clear. We would spend more on formula, day care, gas, and lunch if she continued to work instead of staying home with our children. Since we had planned to have a large family it was almost a no-brainer.
Since then we have had hard times, but by God's grace we have not only made a living, we have excelled!
One thing I had to learn, however, was that my two main priorities as a father were 1) showing my family how to live Godly lives and 2) Providing for my family.
1 Timothy 5:8 says, "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. This was a tough lesson for me to learn. In this day and age men are bombarded with negative images from television and Hollywood if they are work-a-holics, so some men say things like, "I will always be there for my children, I will make every baseball game, I will make it to every recital, etc." While this is a noble idea, it is not realistic. I was thinking like this one day as I began a business that was giving me a lot of time with my kids, but leaving us broke.
I had to ask my father for a loan, and I got a lecture I'll never forget. He said to me that his father may not always have been there for them, but he always made sure they had clothes on their backs, food on the table, and a roof over their head. It was then that I realized I must make sacrifices as a father.
A year later I was serving in Iraq and in danger of losing my life every day. Yet, I never complained to my family and never let them know I was in danger. I simply knew that it was my duty to make sure my family was well provided for.
If a father works, it doesn't make him a bad father, it means he wants to make sure his family has all the things they need to survive and thrive. Now don't get me wrong, it doesn't give fathers a license to work every day until their children are asleep to escape their responsibilities at home either. I know my children need my attention as well. When I arrive home I give all my children love and attention as they need it so that they know they have a father who cares for every aspect of their life.
Yet my children know that if push comes to shove I will do everything in my power to provide for them and to make sure we have food, clothes, and shelter. If that means taking two or three jobs, so be it. If that means selling produce on the side of the road because there are no jobs, then so be it. Even so, there are limits. If you've ever watched Cinderella Man then you see the choices men sometimes have to make. Never steal from others to provide for you or your family. In all things keep God's commandments and He will make sure you are blessed in all things.
Given that our labor market is the worst its been in decades, this is easier said than done especially if you've been looking for work. All I can say is do the possible, and God will do the impossible.
Man O God
